Culture War - Samuel Emetu's Case


I came across a shocking revelation about the culture of Ohafia people in Abia State Nigeria which some part of Ebonyi State also have. It is a culture that states that every child returns to the mother's side (umu na'alà n'ikwu nne)! 

This culture means that children are raised by their mother; the child's welfare and inheritance is gotten from the mother, so the mother should raise and cater for her children anyway she wants to! Either by going to her own father's house to get resources for raising her children or hustle any ways she can! 

Samuel Emetu is from Ohafia and we are from Umuahia where such tradition is a crime - so to say! In my place, a man's primary responsibility is his own nuclear family not his siblings and his sister's children but in Ohafia and some part of Abakiliki, a man's primary responsibility are his siblings and his sister's children not his own biological children. His sister's children have more value in his house than his own biological children! And the fact is, they love their culture like that!

This culture will be enjoyed when a man marries a woman from his own place because the both of them understand their culture. The woman will get resources to raise her children from her father's house while her husband spends his own money on his siblings and his sister's children and there will be peace in the home. But when a man with this culture marries a woman from another culture, how will she get resources from her father's house to raise her children when her own siblings are all hustling for their own families? If they raise her children for her, who will raise theirs? 

Samuel Emetu knows that he is practicing this culture, instead of taking a wife from his place decided to go and marry a woman from another culture and frustrate the living day light out of her! The only issues they ever have is when the woman asks for money for the welfare of the family. Money for feeding, clothes, medical, school fees etc are the only things causing them trouble! The woman never understand's why he will never agree to bring out money for family use, yet he changes cars like clothes; he uses designers shoes, perfumes, clothes etc, while his children suffer in their sickness. I have had reasons to send my sister money for treatment of one child or the other while their father is alive and balling in the same house with the said child. The man will prefer to share goodies to church children rather than provide for his children!

It's crazy and mind bugling seeing the father of the children you're supposed to be raising spending his own money on himself and looking good while you're trying to cater for your own family 😂! It's funny, crazy and incomprehensible at the same time, in my own culture, to see the man of the house see the welfare of his children as help being rendered to them!

Before you agree to marry a person, please find out the culture that person practices, if it's something you can deal with or not! Don't let love carry you go where you no know because only one discovery will clear that yeye love comot from your eyes!

1 comment:

  1. This is an exact summary of my experience. A man of God practicing Christianity and tradition.